FOUR FOR FRIDAY 2: Spirituality

1."Wu-wei."

The ancient Daoist term Wu Wei translates to “the effortless act of non-action.” To me, this term embodies the ability to align with the natural flow of the universe. In my belief system, when we become still enough, we can connect with the natural course that life is trying to take us on. Lao Tzu's quote, “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished,” resonates with me deeply. Similarly, the Buddha taught in the Second Noble Truth that our dissatisfaction often arises from clinging to outcomes, greed, and hate.

This week, I challenge you to take note of your expectations and consider whether they inevitably lead to your discontentment. I encourage you to reflect on the principles of yin and yang: What is this situation preparing me for? What is it revealing to me? Where is this natural flow leading me? And how might this ultimately benefit me?

2. “Maybe”

Building on the previous points, I want to introduce the concept of “Maybe,” which I encountered in a video some time ago. This theory suggests that any situation simply “is what it is” and can be perceived as either “good” or “bad” based on our perspective. As the yin-yang symbol teaches us, no experience is inherently “good” or “bad.” Instead, there is some “good” in the “bad” and some “bad” in the “good.” Essentially, every scenario encompasses elements of both growth and decline, life and death, expansion and contraction.

When we say “yes” to something, we are simultaneously saying “no” to other options. Similarly, when a relationship ends, it creates space for a new one to begin. When something is removed from our lives, it also opens up room for something new to appear. You can watch the video referred to above here.

3. Polarity

Another principle we've learned from gestalt therapy is working with polarity, which recognizes that most things exist on a spectrum or continuum. Passivity and rigidity, for example, can be seen as opposite ends of the same continuum. To simplify, I often use numbers with clients, with absolute passivity represented as -10 and absolute rigidity as +10. Throughout our lives, we may need to shift our numbers along this continuum depending on the situation. Health can be viewed as knowing where we are on this continuum at any given moment and what's needed to bring us more balance.

For instance, we might consider when it's more important to be “in control” versus “being spontaneous.” Joseph Zinker, in Creative Process in Gestalt Therapy, explores this concept in depth. Challenge: allow yourself to become aware of this duality in your daily life. Some examples include balancing work and play, structure and spontaneity, intellect and intuition, and specificity vs wholeness. Remember, different situations call for different responses. As mentioned, harmony is found in allowing the other aspect to emerge when needed. 

4. Naming/ Noting

One of my favorite forms of meditation is the practice of “noting” or “naming.” This technique can be immediately helpful and can enhance awareness of one's immediate situation. During this practice, individuals sit and verbally acknowledge (internally or externally) what is arising in their immediate experience. For instance, what are you noticing right now? Name it. I may identify things such as “seeing, typing, birds, candle burning.” I may also acknowledge emotions as they arise, such as “tension, relaxation, sadness, calmness.”

This practice empowers you to take ownership of what you're observing, rather than letting those observations dictate your experience. How is this applicable? In everyday life, this practice can help create space between what you notice and how you respond. Many people express difficulty with focus, and while I acknowledge that it can be challenging, particularly in the presence of neurodevelopmental disorders, I believe that sometimes we impulsively jump from one task to another (monkey mind). This practice can help us reclaim mental space and consciously choose our actions, rather than being driven by impulses. You can find an example of this practice here.