FOUR FOR FRIDAY 9: SELF
“Discipline = Freedom.”
-Jocko Willink
FOURM- Week 9: Returning to the “Self” portion of our model. Here are some tips and strategies that resonate deeply with me at this moment. Thank you for staying tuned in. Enjoy!
1. The Man In The Arena
I don’t necessarily believe in having “a favorite” of something. I do believe in having favorites—many things seem to be great and unique in their own ways. For me, I think that we as individuals are way too complex to choose only one of something permanently. Much like a tongue has different areas of taste buds, we as humans enjoy different tastes of life, each satiating us in its own way.
Now, with that being said, if you know me by now, you’d know my epitaph will most likely read, “One of my favorite quotes is…” Haha, here’s one I circle back to often:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
-Theodore Roosevelt
2. Living Backwards
“It is said that extraordinary people live their lives backwards. They create a future, then they live into it.” This quote from Mind Gym conveys a powerful idea.
To me, it means taking your biggest goal, imagining it achieved, and then rewinding to see the steps needed to get there. Imagine this moment as a part of the movie where you’re the main character.
What do you want? What did the main character (being you) need to go through in order to get to where they are now? Visualize it. Watch your own movie in reverse. What actions got you there? What’s needed NOW to move closer to that goal?
For me, I just ran my first race in a while and feel inspired to qualify for the NYC marathon. The qualifying time for my age group is 2:53:00, but I ran 3:09:16 this past weekend. To qualify, I’ll need to shave sixteen minutes (plus some) off my time. Is it possible? Time will tell.
To succeed, I’m reminded to begin living life backwards. What should my days consist of? What do I need to do in this moment? That’s where my focus is currently.
3. Discipline = Freedom
If you haven’t heard about this guy by now, I highly encourage you to check him out. His name is Jocko. He is an ex Navy Seal Officer, co-author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win, Dichotomy of Leadership, and host of the top rated podcast- Jocko Podcast. This man is as tough as they come. In his book on extreme ownership, he shares principles for a structured, routine-based life. One standout idea is that discipline creates freedom. Jocko explains that his discipline lets him live the life he wants, debunking the myth that discipline restricts freedom.
Think about this for a moment. What disciplines help you live well? Simultaneously, what structures might you lack that lead to lethargy and anxiety? How can you establish parameters to regain control of your internal landscape? Food for thought.
4. Cash On Trips
I’m not always the best at this, I’ll admit, but when I remember this tip, I tend to feel more at peace. A while ago, I learned the value of stopping at the bank before going off on a trip to withdraw cash for expenses. In our society, swiping a card has become effortless—you tap your phone, it beeps, and $6.95 later a tall iced matcha latte sits in front of you. I do love a tall iced matcha latte.
To stay mindful of my expenses while traveling, I’ve noticed that using cash makes me more aware of my spending habits. The amount I withdraw varies based on the length of my trip, planned activities, dinners, excursions etc... When I physically see money leaving my hand, I become more conscious of where my money goes.
It reminds me of the quote, “Humans tend to take up as much as they are given.” Research shows that humans tend to use resources in proportion to what’s available—whether it’s time, money, or flexibility. When given a card, there’s no tangible limit on spending. With physical bills, I notice I tend to prioritize what’s important, what I truly want to spend on, and where I should save for later.
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